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"Dear Laura, thanks for the excellent, disheartening essay you wrote about sober dating," an articulate stranger named Eli (not his real name) typed in an email to me. Within a month, the tone of our exchanges changed from flirty to outright romantic.This wasn't the first time a random lonely heart had reached out about my writing. Within days of that first message from Eli — whom I'd promptly Google-stalked and happily discovered was gorgeous — we were emailing constantly, sharing both day-to-day minutiae ("Here's a sexy picture of my omelet! He was a few years younger, but we had a ridiculous number of things in common. "Marry me," he texted back when I mentioned my decade-long obsession with Britney Spears.

My spite ballooned to the point that I created a fake Twitter account as a hot, fictitious hipster guy to flirt with myself in the hopes of making Eli jealous. )Our melodramatic fights, frequent bouts of "taking space," and circular conversations analyzing our constantly wounded feelings were driving us both insane. In the morning, I'd wake to my stomach in knots, anticipating what exciting/excruciating situation might arise with Eli that day.

I booked separate hotel rooms, but we ended up sharing mine.

When I saw him for the first time, my heart lilted toward my throat.

In the bedroom, I had to make the first move, and our hookups were more awkward than incredible.

Still, it felt amazing to be with him finally, but I knew the visit would be over in a blink. When the weekend was over, Eli kissed me passionately on the train platform, and then we each went home to our separate, single lives. I asked why, and he texted, "I'm confused about where we stand, how I should act." When I mistook that to imply that he might be ready to try — — actual dating, he backpedaled: "I have feelings for you, but I'm just not equipped for a relationship right now, long-distance or otherwise." I was nauseous with embarrassment, and it dawned on me that I was chasing a ghost.

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Internet-based relationships are necessarily based on fantasy, not reality — of course people's hearts get broken when they're building up all these false ideas about some perfect faraway dream lover who doesn't exist in the way you want them to.

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